When silence is deafening

This has got to be the most miserable Chinese New Year and Valentine's ever.

It's so tiring pretending to be happy when really, there is only pain in my heart. I listened to the neighbours playing with firecrackers last night, and as everyone around me celebrated, I closed my eyes to sleep the pain away.

Why did you persist for so long, only to give up after 5 months? Do I mean so little to you? Do you not care? Are you even thinking about me at all? Do the 11 years of friendship not count for anything either?