Could have, would have, should have

I bloody f*cking hate my life.
I hate that I'm sitting here missing you when it could have been our 6th month anniversary.

I hate that I can't hold you, I hate that I can't have you near.

I hate that none of my prayers for another chance with you have been heard.

I hate that we seem to be distant strangers, I seem to have lost my best friend.

I hate that you are cold towards me, because you think it'd make me get over you more easily.

I hate that I even have to get over you.

I hate that I can't care for you the way I want to.

I hate that I can't be there every morning when you wake, every night when you sleep.

Heck, I even hate that I can't do your laundry!

I hate that I am in such pain that all I want to do is hide under the sheets and hope that I'd eventually wake up from this nightmare. But I only ever wake up to reality.

I bloody f*cking hate my f*cking life.